Alright friends, emissaries, established dignitaries, and the rest of the guttural trash of Reno. An Evening With Scalleycat does not mean we're having a sleepover (the five man spoon is only in fashion during winter and purely for warmth; no homo), it means we're all meeting at 530pm at the Mapes on Friday, October 26th for a little bit of fun in the Scalleycat spirit. We're doing no advertising so make sure you shoot this out to those friends of yours who don't read the boards and want to be involved in the Scalleycat pandemonium. Doug and I will be providing food for you and even better you're going to have these next few weeks to gather the best photos of the following ten objectives I will offer you in a moment. Purely subjective judging (by Doug and I) will take place and the best picture for each objective will be rewarded one of thirty special edition Scalleycat t-shirts. So ten objectives, top ten hipsters get hip t-shirts that if they're skinny enough don't reach to their hips and thus make them hipper. Along with that 15 t-shirts will be on sale, in auction style to make sure it's fair, for $10 a piece (to cover costs of shirts and food for you fools). Anyways, I know most of you ADHD tards can't read a paragraph this long much less the novella I could write on how much Scalleycat rules so here's the cliff notes:
An Evening With Scalleycat
When: 530pm, Friday, October 26th
Where: The Mapes (group ride to park for BBQ and fun after we get collected, byob but we'll feed you [veggie stuff too, no worries my anti-meat amis])
Price: Free, unless you want a special edition (1 of 30) Scalleycat shirt bring $10 and maybe you'll get one or win one
-Take photos from the following 10 objectives over the next few weeks.
-Submit to renoscalleycat@gmail.com by October 25th @ Noon, digitally. We're going to have them on display at the BBQ.
-It is a solo event so no partners, just you and a camera...might need to get help with shots though.
-Top 10 photos (funniest, nudest, hottest, most homoerotic, etc. it's purely subjective so be inventive and interpret accordingly) each get a special edition Scalleycat shirt.
OBJECTIVES
1) Get the Dirty Cowboy to trackstand your bike.
2) Shotgun a beer with a bum. (We want to include the X crowd in this and all other life choices so energy drink is a-ok if you don't booze. If you don't drink caffeine either just get the guy to beat off on a coffee cup or something because god knows any man can shotgun a bottle of dasani.)
3) Shot with a UNR cheerleader in uniform, preferably on your bike but if you get inventive and she's just using your toptube as a device for 'digital manipulation' as they called it in 5th grade sex ed, that's cool too.
4) Get punched by a UNR boxer. (Their studio is off 4th.) We all know you can fake getting hit so at least make it humorous.
5) Get a UNR basketball player to trackstand your whip.
6) Kiss a tourist. (We can't get over this one from last year and are in deep debate over whether or not any of you can trump Chad Strand's photo from last year.)
7) Best shot of your bike on a train. (Don't get busted at the tracks, thanks. I'm not bailing you out. Also, if you have a hobo in your shot I'm giving you props.)
8) Best shot of an animal on your bike.
9) Best bombing of Hunter Lake Hill.
10) Photo of the best Scalleycat advertising. (If you want stickers to place yourself in ironic places then let us know and we'll hook you up with some.)
That's the beast. Encourage your friends to checkout the site if they want to be involved because we're doing no advertising beyond this. Cheerio.
((A side note...growlers are half price to fill at silver peak during the full moon. That means a gallon of beer for $5-6. You can pay us back for the hint by bringing us each a porter. Thanks.))
