Landis at SCALLEYCAT?

Scalleycat News caught up with Floyd Landis...

SCNews: So Landis, rumor has it Sheryl is great in the sack and you're going to make it to Scalleycat '08!? You boned Sheryl too right?
Landis: After hearing of America's newest event, Scalleycat, last spring my curiosity has been provoked. Speaking of Sheryl Crow, that 'Hookers & Blow' page for the race was hilarious! Of course I'll be in RENO for SC.
SCNews: Will you be in SF for the 12 hour event?
Landis: I have a scheduling conflict and will be unable to attend.
SCNews: What could possibly be more important?
Landis: Well, even into retirement, the UCI is still requiring me to take piss tests. And they are updating the tests constantly. I have to meet with my doctor 'cause he has a new form of EPO, but it's not really EPO it just...well, it mixes good with my PowerBar Energy Drink formulas.
SCNews: Oh, so you're still doping?
Lance: ....
SCNews: Is it true what the news says that you supposedly have the hots for Greg Lemond's "peepee"?
Lance: ....
SCNews: No really, we heard you called him and said something to that effect. Came up in court, you know?
Landis: ....
SCNews: Why all the awkward silence Landis? Sometimes we lay around during Scalleycat and give each other brojobs. It's not gay if you're a bro dude.
Landis: : Right, well, I was in a fraternity.
SCNews: Ha! The EPO has turned you gay! We'll see you at Scalleycat! Say something that a champion with his titles revoked because he cheated would say.
Landis: Can't wait boys! And for those two whimps who call themselves champs, you got something coming at you next year!
SCNews: OK, enough.....bye Lance.

For more on the LA interview go to Cyclingnews.com and check it all out.

We here at Scalleycat would like everyone to know that we have nothing but contempt at this current moment for professional cycling at that this interview is of course a satire. Greg Lemond and his recent actions has served to calm us and we offer him full support as not only fellow cyclists but also for his great character and honesty in calling out and bringing to light the corrupt nature of the majority of professional cyclists. Rock on Lemond. We'd also like to say that Landis is a joke and if they don't strip him of his jersey we'd like to do it ourselves. That is of course as long as he isn't all bulked up and super aggressive from all the 'roids he's been on. We'd hate to get hurt and not be able to ride every day which by the way is more important than winning Landis. Cheers princess.